Today I awaken with gratitude in my heart to be alive but on the other hand my heart is heavy because it is the day of my angel's wake: Luz Maria Luna Collazo. I am in a place of knowing that what Luz meant to me was valuable and she is a person I won't ever forget. The mother of my children, my former wife and friend are just some titles she has in my life and roles she played in my life. She truly brought joy to my heart and soul. Today I will honor her and greet the many friends and family who will be present at her wake. I have a strong feeling there will be many people who will pay their last respects to her as she was a very good person who was very giving. I for one will miss her.
I met Luz when we were both 14 years old at a party in her home. I had gone to this event because my uncle and her dad were friends. My cousin and her brother were friends too. I remember seeing her with her porcelain skin sitting in a corner of the kitchen with another girl. To this day I can not picture the other girl but Luz's image stayed stuck in my mind for years. That evening I said to myself "I want to marry her" and as life would have it we reconnected, I looked her up, dated for a year and then were married in January of 1974. I am uncertain as to why that illogical thought crossed my mind on that day when I met her but it did and as it turned out it may not have been so crazy a thought after all.
Luz and I have two daughters Taina Luz and Camille Marie. For me this is the most precious gift that anyone could have given me. Luz was the best mother ever and for her being a mom was never ending. She was always concerned about our children and their well being over her own. Her focus was being a great mom and friend and in the end she was close to our daughters. Her love for our children was never ending and she was at the center of how our children turned out so gentle, kind, generous, smart and beautiful. She was to me a wonderful mother and a great friend to them.
Luz was diagnosed with cancer just a couple of months ago. She was sent home for hospice when I went to visit her last Monday. I could tell immediately that she was struggling and she was on oxygen. I looked at her and as the hours passed she became less and less coherent. She was able to say a few words to me and thanked me for every little thing I did. She was progressing from having the ability to speak and understand to being unable to understand. Her brother had suddenly left his home to come by and used his key to enter. I was happy to see him because earlier I'd thought that this may be the day she passed. I gave her some pain medication per her request and along side her brother measured it with care and gave it to her. Slowly she fell asleep and by that time my daughter Camille had returned. Her uncle, a friend, and I all sat at the kitchen table chatting. At one point I got up to check Luz and she was breathing heavily so that I could see her chest moving. In a few minutes I suddenly decided to check on her again and this time she'd stopped breathing. She had a semi-smile on her face with her hand on her cheek leaning over as if she had gone peacefully. Afterwards my daughter and her uncle needed to verify that she was gone. At that moment I wen to the bedroom and broke down crying. My angel had died.
I will remember Luz in her dress at our wedding. She was truly a light and was stunning to put it mildly. She walked down that isle with her father and the only thing I could see was her beauty and the light that was behind her. That was for me one of the happiest moments of my life. I will remember Luz Maria in a fitted tropical print dress in Puerto Rico when I met her wonderful and embracing family. I will remember Luz's mother and father who she shared with me and who loved me as if I was their son. I will remember her for her impeccable cooking, especially her arroz con gandules. I will remember Luz as the person who was my wife and the only person I was in love with and felt harmony with. I will remember her porcelain skin and her laughter as long as I live. I will remember the day that I met her and the nights we stayed up with our baby crying. I will remember Luz Maria Collazo as the person who voluntarily loved me and stayed my friend. I will remember the woman who impacted my life in a way that no one ever has or ever will.
Rest my angel:
Love Elliott Collazo
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